It’s not feasible to raise “independent” boys or girls. While boys seem to be left aside for some reason, and seems like their up bringing is a “natural” process, that they find their way out into the world with no “special” outside gearing, girls are heavily “imprinted” with all programs possible, to be all from the perfect housewife, to the cold-minded business/ CEO, from the warm-wise mother, to the sensual, intriguing, mysterious lover igniting passion.
Even some “professionals” in the industry advocate for women getting aware of their multiple roles in our society, and advice on “getting their priorities right” and “getting better at joggling”. If this only was a joke!
And the root is not the man, and the relationship, the root is your daughter’s education. That’s right, it starts with YOU!
While sending your daughter to wash the dishes, take trash out, cook the meals and tide the house, remember that YOU are setting HER for a certain expectation. This is all good if you don’t tell her to go make her homework, be the first in school, “use her head”, “start living on your own feet” and things like these.
We are all wired naturally to be – and do – some particular, certain, specific, things. If you are interested you can see them in your children since the day they were born. If you are not interested, they may be very, very easily overlooked.
We are NOT MEANT to be everything. I think we can, I think we do not want to. It infringes our experience here on Earth, as our race purpose, life’s own purpose, is not being “independent”. WE WANT TO COOPERATE, to be together. It’s our heart’s purpose from the beginning to the end.
Don’t believe me? Why is then that sooo many “independent” women are not happy? That that they are still “waiting” for “prince charming”? And why so many women are not happy with their children, with their husbands and their careers? Where does it start, and will it ever end?
We are not meant to be “independent”, to live completely alone. We have not designed this Earthy experience for one-man/ woman- purpose alone. We wanted to be together. The more rounded we are as persons, the more complete, the more connected our interactions. And we wanted to have these interactions.
Spiritually, life purposefully, we are meant to take our species further, which means that our most burning desire is bearing children. We have designed this experience that a man and a woman cannot bear children ALONE. We have designed this experience so women and men together bear, and raise, their children. That a child is equally curious and influenced by both mom and dad, by BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.
Hey, Mamma, WAKE UP!
“Independent” girls are raised by hurting parents. They are so hurt that they cannot see their own wound. Everything they have been wishing for in their relationship was a big disappointment. And they are “transferring” their hurts to their daughters, instead of getting them to the root. Instead of looking at them, and returning to that essential being that you knows you still are, and you knew you were from the very beginning: YOURSELVES.
You are not happy in your relationship? Have you been raised to believe that you can do everything? Did you wanted to do everything? Once that you have proven it, this is not so much fun anymore, isn’t it? How about returning to your state, and letting your children do it well?
Yes, YOU CAN BE EVERYTHING, you can be that mother, you can be that model, you can be that actress, you can be that woman raising x children and working her but off. YES! YOU CAN BE. The question is: DO YOU WANT TO?
When you tell your daughter she needs to learn to make a better living, it means YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. She will not treasure herself in being a mom, being a wife, being a woman in the end.
When you tell your daughter she needs to cook, do the laundry, wash the dishes, it means you are sending her “to her place”, where the “women belong”. In the kitchen. She will resent being a “woman”, “having” to do all this “diminishing” staff a man would not do.
And she learnt all that from you.
Can you LIVE with that?
Help your daughter – and your son too – KNOW that THEY ARE PERFECT THE WAY THEY ARE. That we are all basically women and basically men, and have these intentions of interacting, sharing and expanding our experiences. That man can, and want, also to do the dishes and cook the meals, and women can, and want, also to build offices, run business and flying airplanes.
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